Monday, July 9, 2012

It's the Least Wonderful Time of the Year

Could there possibly be a worse time of year for sports than All-Star week of baseball?  The NBA just concluded its exciting season a few short weeks ago, hockey a few weeks earlier, and this is the doldrums for the NFL season.  This is one of a pair of three week stretches where there is honestly no football to talk about besides over-hyping how certain UDFA's did while playing non-contact football.  Some of the more fringe sports like tennis and soccer wrapped up major events prior to this week, with soccer concluding its Euro Cup and tennis with Wimbledon.  Lastly, while we're afforded the benefit of this year being an Olympics year, it still is a little ways away.

For starters, All-Star games in general are pretty terrible.  Nothing is worse than the Pro Bowl, which makes paddy cake look like the UFC.  Defense in the NBA All-Star Game is about as foreign as Borat Sagdiyev.  Finally, incompetency hit an all new high in the 2002 MLB All-Star Game when Bud Selig, Mr. Incompetent himself, declared the game a tie.  Tom Hanks's character Jimmy Dugan famously exclaimed to Evelyn Gardner  in A League of their Own, "There's no crying in baseball!" Maybe he should've told Bud Selig, "There no tying in baseball!"

The Monday night before is the 364th best sports day of the year.  That's me being nice because I'm not counting this year as a leap year.  Could there possibly be a worse announcer for baseball than Chris Berman?  To take it a step further, is there anything worse than a Home Run Derby announced by Chris Berman?  Do you realize how many times he excruciatingly said, "BACKBACKBACKBACK..." tonight?  The guy sounds like the Cadbury Easter Bunny when he incessantly says that.  Don't believe me? Here's a clip:

Maybe we can just get him to announce the HR Derby next year instead. Would anyone notice? 

Finally, Wednesday has got to be the dullest sports day of the entire year.  There's no baseball games scheduled and like I mentioned above, no other legitimate sports have any games or events on the docket.  God forbid I open a book (I thought that's why I graduated college?).  Wednesday is probably the one day of the year where I actually would want to work.  For now, however, I'll be checking out of life and setting my mental alarm (pop!) for Thursday.

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